2010... here we go!

New Years Resolutions... hummmm...
For whatever reason, this past year of 2009 was not the best year for me. You would think it would be better than 2008, and in some ways it was... but I feel it was less productive of a year.
I hit my weight loss plateau, then over the course of the next 8 months continued to gain back 20 -25 pounds.
I cannot even begin to describe how difficult that is, and how angry it makes me. And while I the control over my losing and gaining, in so many ways it is still out-of-control.
I know what I have to do to change it, but I can only make it the focus of my life for so long. I feel like it has to consume me in order for me to change it. It's the first thing I think about it when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. It's a day-to-day constant. I guess I just don't think it's fair.
When I just live my life (and not what I consider too indulgent) I only get mad at myself when I look in the mirror after getting ready. Although lately, I can tell a difference when I'm getting dressed, and that's frustrating.
So the dilemma is... do I let it consume me again and drop the weight... or live my life and be a bit heavy? What's a girls to do?
In looking back over the year... it had it's high's and low's. It's fair share of family and personal drama. I stopped writing for a while, and that was difficult for me. I think I stopped writing my emotions and just ate them instead.
So enough on that... I'm starting a new year, which mean having new goals (or the same as before) but a new found commitment to better myself.

As my tradition, I am choosing to improve three areas of my life "in wisdom, stature, and in favour with God and man" (Luke 2:52) So here it goes...

To increase my wisdom:

1. Read. I started reading after Sophie was born, and I notice improvements in my vocabulary and my open-minded-ness (is that a word?) when I read more often.

2. Write. I really missed writing this past year, and I'm going to keep a better record of my year.

To increase stature (physical goals):

1. Learn to not just 'lose weight'... but maintain a healthy weight

2. love my body, and be happy with where I am... not always reaching for happiness in those next 10 pounds.

To increase favour with God (spiritual goals):

1. Increase my temple attendance (always at the top of my list... every year)

2. Increase my personal scripture studies

As I went through the goals I set for myself last year, it just reiterated the fact that 2009 was not the best year for me. But that's now in the past, and I have the opportunity to make 2010 the best year yet! I have to add my favorite quote... (which may just become the traditional quote to start each year)...

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
I realize that I must be realistic in my goals, and my ability to achieve them. I feel like I can push forward with enough positive energy to accomplish anything I want. I always tell my girls... the beauty of life (and the country we live in) is that if you want it bad enough, and work hard enough, YOU CAN ACHIEVE IT!

Happy New Year!