Thumper's lesson

Lately I have felt rather 'out of the loop'. I noticed that the more 'out of the loop' I am around here... the better. I got hit with some nasty neighborhood gossip and it got me thinking... Maybe I need to create my own loop! I am a bit of a control freak after all, so my own loop can be what I want it to be.
Not that long ago I was in the middle of gossip, feeling free to express my opinions about everything and everyone. When I'm on the outside of it... I see it from a different light. Hearing gossip about someone I don't know, or a new neighbor I haven't met yet, sounds really nasty! And the point that it really hit me, was when it turned from someone's own experience and opinions to "she said..." Then a nice person (who probably wouldn't have wanted their opinion spread like wildfire) was dragged into bashing someone else.
You know that movie Bambi? Thumper comments about how funny Bambi walked... then his Mom got after him and said "What did your father tell you?" and Thumper clears his throat to recite "If you can't say something nice... don't say nothing at all."

Thumper's Dad was a pretty wise dude.
I'm all about expressing feelings. But what happened to someone else is not really my feelings, right? Maybe that's when it truly becomes gossip. So I have a new challenge... I'm gonna try sticking to the facts. My facts that is. And I'll try to listen to others facts. But I want to learn to just filter out anything but the facts. I believe that's called being objective.
I think that I tend to be subjective, and I get a lot of information from people who are very subjective. (Is subjective what you call a person who likes to divide people?)
When someone says they're going to be "subjective" about something, it means that they give comments or give value to something based on their feelings... it's more of a moral judgment. A subjective opinion is based on emotions, feelings, perceptions, and one's beliefs. There is not necessarily factual basis for subjective judgment, as opposed to being objective... where there is a FACTUAL basis for comments... or statement for that matter. Meaning to say, the statement can be backed up with known facts (something that is observable or concrete, and known to all) And most importantly... being objective mean you are able to view things in different perspectives.
So the next time I hear a story, (whether it's about a new neighbor, or a family member) I'm going to ask... whose version is it anyway? And maybe consider the source a bit more.
No doubt, that person may have a very good reason to back up his/her opinions... but sometimes in life, things may not be what they appear. And while I remember what Thumper's Dad says... I should also remember what I heard in my own childhood... that a person who always talks bad about someone else could easily turn around and talk bad about you too…
The other thing Bambi has taught me?
"Eating greens is a special treat, It makes long ears and great big feet. But it sure is awful stuff to eat."