Friday, October 12, 2012

Day 232- It's been a while

Mike came across these pictures. They were on his computer, some of them I have... some of them I don't remember him ever taking!

These were the bruises I had all over my thighs...


These are pictures of all the stages of healing...


 





I remember wondering if my leg would ever look the same. I couldn't believe how fast I lost my muscle, and how long my leg stayed green and yellow. Even after the purple and red faded... the yellow seemed to last forever!




 This was how nicely my incision was healing! I was very proud of how well I was able to take care of the site. I would rub Vitamin E on it 2 or 3 times a day, and massage around the area to keep scar tissue from building. It was the only thing I could control at that point!
 

These were the amount of pills I would take morning, noon, and night! This didn't include added pain meds!




 I had such bad issues with blood pooling in my foot! It was so incredibly painful and the skin would get so tight... it would burn and itch.




















This was my calf... I was flexing!!! It was so sad! And although it took months... I was glad the color looked more normal.


It brought back a flood of memories. The day-to-day pain has almost become just a regular part of life. It isn't until I'm unable to participate, or can't do something I want to do... then the emotions come flooding back!
I'm super nervous for the winter! Just the past few weeks the weather has cooled quite a bit. There are mornings I can hardly walk!
I've been called to serve in the YW. Which is a place I'm so happy to be. I've missed the girls, and while I enjoy the Primary... my heart will always belong to the YW. It's been a struggle with some of the activities. Over the past couple months I have had to sit on the sidelines and watch. I can't go play night games... do a trek to the temple... play any sports... or other physical activities. It makes me angry if I dwell on it. I think Mike is angry enough for the both of us.
I ordered Christmas cards early this year. It's kind of ironic... for the past 14 years our Christmas cards have gone out to at least 50 family members and friends. Every year is the same... kids are growing up, Mike is still at Wingate, life is good. I was excited to tell everyone when Mike had graduated. I was even more excited when I graduated. We would sometimes mention the trip we had taken... but we started traveling so much that it seemed silly... almost like bragging. We were pretty boring and average people. Nothing too exciting.
I asked Mike if he even wanted to send one out this year. I debated it back and forth. What do I write? Mike and I will both say that "hands down" this is the hardest year of our lives! How do you write that in a Christmas card? So I just ordered a cute card with the picture of the girls on it... left Mike and I out this year. I still am not sure what or if I will write anything... but at least people can get a cute picture of the girls! They hide things well. I know it's bee hard on them, but they are so forgiving and willing to accept things.
I worried that Sophie might never recover from wetting the bed. (Which she started doing the week I got home from the hospital) We ordered "starry" online. Starry is a device that clips on her underwear, and has a wire connecting to a speaker box that clips to the sleeve of her nightgown. If she wets the electrical current conducts and the speaker sounds a horribly loud alarm. She has done pretty well, with a few tough weeks (When Mike went out-of-town she wet almost every night... as soon as he came home she did okay) but I think she will get the hang of it again. Poor girl!

(It's called the sleep dry alarm...)